Planet Caravan and Purple Rain

Planet Caravan and Purple Rain

I can hear you upstairs stomping with heavy shoes.
I can hear you beat up any woman dumb enough to stop
for a night cap But I wonder its not your
apartment to cause such mayhem.
Perhaps your daddy just sits there perhaps drunk
enough to sleep through it all

You’ll play Purple Rain at full blast but to be honest I prefer Raspberry Beret.
She then yells for you to get off and you on queue smack her around while playing free bird or I’m a cowboy baby!

She then yells for help things as things get quiet for a moment or so then I hear beginnings of Planet Caravan by Black Sabbath, and things are quiet for the moment and then Purple Rain makes
a slight return.

The floor shakes, furniture is thrown
“I’m gonna kill somebody!” she yells
and to be honest I can’t tell who is beating whom
“Get off, Get off of me!” She screams as if Prince Roger Nelson would pour into the room wearing a fabulous purple velvet cape, a spit curl creating a black sweat to rains down, washing everyone with pure electric sugar

Hours later your musical tastes show no bounds as you sing
with Sir Elton, the chorus to “Candle in the Wind” until she
finally comes back for more. Because they always comeback
for Sir Elton
“I want my money back!” She screams
“I ain’t got your money so tough shit”

After a few more hours of slapping screaming and throwing furniture from the midst of chaos came more Purple Rain
and all was quiet you turned your stereo down just when
I was in the mood for “Bat Dance” after I wasn’t sure if
You were cool enough to play “When you were mine”

Finally after four hours of pure magic the cops finally arrived
They took your girlfriend away you stopped playing your personal anthems. All is quiet for the next month or so

I felt you gave the world purple rain with yellow bricks you gave us Bad Company much like the phoenix wife beater, you are free as bird and you will never change

Somehow I can’t help but to feel ungrateful
Because they silenced your voice before you majestically belted out “Give it to me baby” by Rick James
Perhaps “Take on me” by Ah Ha?
Don’t worry she will be back, they always come back.

-Craig Caudill


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